Countless times I waited for my daughters in this place. The bell signals the end of classes, excited children's shouts reach Kralja Milutin from the building, children run out of the school with beaming faces.
MEMORY OF THE VICTIMS OF THE MASS MURDER IN RIBNIKARPhoto: Vladimir Šporčić/Tanjug
This morning at 8.40 sirens sounded. At that time it was May 3rd. a year ago the child began to shoots at children in the "Vladislav Ribnikar" elementary school. The thirteen-year-old killed nine students and Dragan Vlahović. I didn't hear the church bells, although I kind of expected them.
There is silence in front of the school this morning. Only the patter of the rain can be heard under the umbrella. People greet each other with a slight nod of the head. It seems as if every word spoken would release suppressed tears.
Photo: Vladimir Šporčić/TanjugPhoto: Vladimir Šporčić/Tanjug
People are waiting in line in front of the entrance to "Ribnikar" to write in the book of memories. I see familiar faces. Many are holding flowers in their hands. A group of teenagers with bewildered expressions are standing on the edge of this silent gathering. A woman with a dog walks past snarling, her eyes red from crying. Despondency flows through the crowd.
I recognize the faces of the parents of the murdered children. I feel weak in my legs when I think about what they are going through, not only today, but every day. I think of my daughters and I can no longer hold back the tears.
Blue scalameria
The entrance to the school is covered by a blue iron scalameri whose upper columns are carved with the names of the murdered children. I don't know what to think about that. It doesn't even matter.
Photo: Tanjug / Vladimir ŠporčićPhoto: Vladimir Šporčić/Tanjug
The whole school is covered from the sidewalk to the roof by a white and blue tarp with white and blue silhouettes with wings that I think are supposed to represent angels. Like a curtain falling to cover the scene and mark the end of the tragedy. Only this tragedy has no end.
REMEMBERING THE VICTIMS OF THE MASS MURDER IN RIBNIKARPhoto: Vladimir Šporčić/Tanjug
Something red can be seen behind the high blue fence blocking the view of the fatal entrance. Red, blue, white. Did someone want to insert the colors of the Serbian flag into this installation? Should that also arouse some patriotic feelings in this place?
Spring
I am looking at that beautiful street covered with dense green canopy that leads from Nemanjina to Tašmajdan. Trees have such a shade of green only in spring. I don't remember that on May 3, a year ago, I was even aware that it was spring. Time had stopped then.
These children were at home here, in this street, in Svetozara Markovića, Njegoševa, in the park where the church of St. Mark is located, in "Ribnikar". She felt safe there, it was from there that they should start their lives. It should have been.
Unwanted anger
I really didn't want to mention them on this occasion, but my colleague sent me the news that Vučić was here before the world gathered early this morning to lay flowers. Where was he on May 3 a year ago? And the following days? It was as if for him and them the space in front of the school filled with terrified people was enemy territory on which they must not step. They had organized some commemorations of their own, far from the eyes of the citizens of Belgrade.
I'm looking at the profile on my phone. the future of Serbia on Instagram, a photo of the president bowing in front of the photos of the murdered students and their school guard. That's fine. That's how it should be.
But then I remember the chatter of Vučić, Siniša Malog and Ana Brnabić on the same Instagram when they mocked the citizens who were brought to the streets by the death of our children. I remember all that inappropriate behavior of the highest state and city officials devoid of any empathy, those performances of the President of the Republic in which he emphasized only himself in the foreground in front of the shadows of the murdered children. Is it possible that this nation has forgotten all that? And forgave.
I'm getting angry, and I don't want that. I shake it off me.
Day after
Gloom fills me. I leave school, but the place moves after me. If I were a believer, I would go to St. Mark's Church and light candles for those dead children whose lives remained floating in the "Pond". And for his daughters.
But I didn't. The little I can do, which all Belgraders can do, is not to let the memory of those children disappear. And not only every year on May 3.
And no, of course I haven't forgotten what happened on May 4 in Mali Orašje and Dubona. The day after the tragedy, another tragedy took place. Tomorrow, all those feelings will come flooding back. So it is with anniversaries. They force us not to forget.
